The over-achiever, anti-American lifeguard

Day on the beach

Zane surfing

Zane and I on the beach

It was a gorgeous day outside so a big group of us decided to go spend it on the beach. However, we were stopped abruptly by a skinny man with leathery skin. He told us we were not to go swimming any further out than the shoreline because of currents. We all thought, okay that makes sense we will just have a nice beach day. He then saw Zane with his surf board and asked where he was from. When Zane said east coast US, the life guard said, "Oh yeah, that explains it all, you aren't good enough to be here at all." Somewhat unnecessary... So, Zane decided not to go surfing even though plenty of other boys did and the flags indicated the waves were not too rough.

About an hour later, two American boys were swimming on the edge and got pulled out into deeper water. However, they were not struggling and started to swim across and then back to shore. When the lifeguard saw, he ran down the beach put on a pair of flippers and dove into the water (with no board or any device). By the time he got to the boys they were back in shallow water. But, he still found it necessary to march up to us (the first group of Americans he saw) and say "See there, I just had to save these boys who do not know how to swim. If I have to go out and get one of you again I will shut this whole beach down." Even though saving people is his job? I found it irritating because I certainly know how to swim, how to see rips, and was not even in the water at the time. But, we just said alright and went on with our business.

Later, the same crazy man marched up to our group with a jellyfish in his hand and said, "You see this? This is a blue bottle. Do not touch them. This whole part will sting you, and many of you try to play with them and they pop and sting your eyes." When one of our friends asked how he was not getting stung while holding the jellyfish the only reply was, "I've been on this beach for forty years."

Once he spotted another American, who he proceeded to lecture for 30 minutes, Zane took his board out to try the waves. It turned out to be great for him and he got quite a few pretty rides. The lifeguard hasn't said a word to him since...